Dear GPS


Dear GPS,

What was that? I finally gave in and committed to you, after years of you staring at me in a store, when I had to drive my boss to JFK. I trusted you, and even made sure we got to know each other before the trip. Yet when I turned you on to get home from the airport, your bright light, which is really my eyes of the road at that point, suddenly went black while en route. Already in what seemed like a scene from “Die Hard” high speed traffic situation, I had to make the split decision to just rely on you for your audio for survival.

However when the traffic got heavier to the point where it was stop and go for the next few hours, this allowed me time to have a false sense of survival and hope that I could fix you, as well as many breakdowns that followed. You played such dirty tricks on me when I would try to adjust the brightness so I could see you, just for you to spontaneously adjust it back to black, as soon as you earned my trust back. Thanks for that, those were fun games. I know you speak in a female voice but are you really a male by any chance?

For some reason you think my life would be better guided if you had no light. I feel like I could hear you mechanically laughing as you over-dimmed it, each time into an  unseeable black abyss in my time of need. Again are you sure you’re not of male decent? And apparently you think my life would be better lived, if I resided in Chicago.

 I get you know more than me in certain areas but I am sooo sure I don’t live in Chicago. I checked my license, registration, and my mailing address, and they all came to an agreement that  I don’t live in Chicago. At one point I wish I did, just to make it easier on the both of us. I don’t know if your ex, sorry I meant, previous owner , did, but I don’t. I kept trying to tell you that nicely, by resetting my home in you, and well, you kept telling me differently to the point where I actually looked out my window hoping to see Chicago; yet just like I thoughhhtt, 😉 I didn’ttt.  Girls, Always trust your instincts.

You know what else really smashes my M&Ms? How you also decided to go mute during my voyage back to what I later realized, was Chicago. So then I couldn’t see you, OR hear you. You’ve somehow caused me, to feel as if I went deaf, blind, and that I didn’t know where I lived, all in one trip/attempt back. Why am I finding myself rocking back and forth, wide eyed, wishing I lived in Chicago? I love NY what the fuck is going on?!

This ride back from the airport has somehow turned into a pilgrimage to Mecca, with what seemed like Helen Keller leading the way, except I bet she was nice. Wow how you’ve changed my life so quickly, in less than a half hour.

I‘m starting to think I mayyy have an idea of where the band “Rage Against the Machine” possibly derived their name from?….  Ya know it’s funny, I looked in my handbook when I finally made it home by some miracle, and did not see “I shot my Garmin” in the FAQ’s orr Warranty Coverage section. You know what you should come with a side of, though? Health Insurance. You should come with a side of Health Insurance for all the heart palpitations I endured on the highway, and the possible wavering safety of those horrified-looking people, that were unfortunate enough to be around me that day in traffic.

I just kept thinking and having an impulse to throw you out of my window during this argument, a hem I meant traffic, but couldn’t find a place that wouldn’t catapult you into another car in any way. I have to be honest though, (since I’ve clearly been holding back in this letter)…. if we were on a bridge, you would have definitely found your way toward the sea’s, after I sent you soaring out of the side of my car, as you would have probably said “Rerouting” on the way down.

During this first encounter, you then caused me to stop and really look at myself. As the song “I wana get better” played on the radio, it did occur to me that I was fighting with an inanimate object. This is why I never trusted electronics. How could humans put so much trust into things, that our source of life, kills? If electronics’ sources of life happen to combine with our source of life, then they could kill us! Is anyone thinking here? Whatever, either way we are clearly at an age where we are dependent on you things, and I evidently need to learn how to coexist better with you, electronics, clearly.

                The next day I went in my car and it smelled as if my gps had committed suicide. Then during my first peaceful moment of silence since the event, while parked at the post office to collect my thoughts and heal from the previous day, I suddenly heard a a loud voice break through the still silence from under the seat “ Take next ramp” …..….What? I dug and found you where I buried you, and you lit up like a Christmas Tree. Eager to help me when I no longer needed it….loud and bright as ever, helping me get back to my homeland, of Chicago.

-Kristina Antosik


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