Mindgasms, Contact with Angels, and 4D
I’ve been hesitant to blog because I guess I’m sort of in transition. I like to blog when I’ve discovered a point, or at least have hit points in my journey; and I guess I’ve felt, that in a way I’ve failed my blogging audience spiritually. Then I need to realize, that nothing is by accident, and perhaps I’m not failing but doing my job in life, and perhaps the journey matters more than the destination.
I definitely stuck to not allowing contact with the last ex, but he definitely did not commit to the same. He showed up at my apartment, and I still would not let him in. However, after a loonng while, and me not wanting to leave things a mess as well, I gave in to letting him back in.
I did not ever agree to be back with him, I just hate leaving people with bad feelings. He said he’d take what he could get so being friends is better than nothing; and yet as a friend, he was offering me so much: my dream job back, the vacation, and a lot more deals in the works.
I kept saying to him that karmically I didn’t feel right taking such things from him. I’m friends with someone who calls herself a healer and is very hard on me for still knowing him and makes me feel guilty over it. However he reassured me that he knew the deal, and is doing these things because he wants to…
So I’ve been in a battle. Me, being the lead advocate and educator of the Law of Attraction, who continues to study it and learn something new everyday and evolve, is surrounding herself with someone who is nice on the outside, yet at the same time lowering my vibration.
There are things about him I can’t stand, and I’m trying to figure out the lesson in all of this. My psychic told me to go on vacation with him, life is short, yadi yada, its all fun. Part of me feels he’s been sent to look after me, and the other part of me JUST KNOWS we’re not a match.
I can like to think we’re friends all I want, but I’m exhausted from constantly setting boundaries and frankly, dealing with him. Yet sometimes the things he says, I wonder if he is the one? He seems to love me in such an unconditional way, yet I never thought it was genuine….was that intuition? Common sense? Or perhaps my life issues getting in the way…
I sort of know he’s not the one, because if he was, I’d feel something more back. I sort of tolerate him. Yes tolerate would be the average of my feelings for him. Sometimes I care for him as a person and appreciate what hes done, and other times I honestly wonder how such a being could exist….As if I was Darwin in a former lifetime and definitely freaked out that he is proving my theory wrong.
Then I feel I’m being too hard on him, but the minute I let up he’s crossed another boundary. I need to learn how to coexist with him. I wish there were clear messages coming from angels as to what to do.
Anyway no more words wasted on the petty details of such situations but what’s saved me from the depths of vibration he brings me to, is this new energy and feeling I’ve been getting regarding my Twin Flame.
Lately when I sleep, I wake up with tingly feelings from head to toe and very cold. These are signs of astral travel and a new concept I’m trying to shed more light on to myself called kumdelini. Apparently all signs of ascension. Yet now they seem to be happening when I’m in the waking state.
I’ll be walking in the forest, in silence, but feeling what it felt like to interact with my Twin Flame and expanding on that. All of a sudden, even though in the sun I would get chills, and goosebumps all over my body from head to toe. I would feel sooo happy but soo shyly cold if that makes any sense. I would feel elated, at peace, in harmony, as if touched by an angel and as if I could possible just float away, into the zone I belong in; I wonder if this is what they mean when they say 4d.
Then I was at the gym yesterday, doing the elyptical like always and listening to music like always. I use my music to create images and scenes in my head to match and possibly illuminate the feelings of the song. Well again it was a certain song….I believe Sky Full of Stars by Coldplay, and I kept feeling his essence, then mine with his, then ours –and my energy kept attempting this, more and more, feeling and retracting, feeling and retracting, until finally I don’t know if it took the leap or what but contact was made or something. Perhaps he was also thinking of me at the same time or some sort of synchronicity but I feel as if the only word I could describe it as would be a mindgasm.
It definitely was the same way an orgasm happens in the body, but in the mind. I felt tingles all up and down my body at a constant rate. My body felt sub zero but it didn’t bother me, I believe I was smiling but either way definitely effecting by this. My entire being seemed to be engulfed in this feeling and had goose bumps all over me. I wonder what it looked like from the outside because from the inside I felt I was about to lift off and float into 4or 5D right there. I was thinking I wasn’t sure if ascension was a physical thing, until possibly now? I’m not sure what else this could’ve been and it was such a physical feeling caused by the inside of me and my soul, that I wondered if it was apparent to others. Would they notice lol if I just ascended, would I disappear? Perhaps I just went into a higher level of the universe like discussed in : https://newagexperience.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/the-science-behind-loaquantum-jumpingparallel-universes/ where I think that possibly you can switch to any of the parallel universes out there depending on your feelings –Law Of Attraction, your feelings will paint and create your world and reality.
Prior to that, I’ve been getting a lot of signs from my parents (who are in Heaven). I’ve been getting a lot of signs I’m thinking are coincidences, yet also some where I KNOW. I know to the point where I have to pull over, and cry at the touchingness of knowing. It feels like contact of some sort, and I just have to cry knowing they’re with me. Crying is interesting, I’ve been crying a lot in my dreams lately. These cries I have when I know it’s angels, start of shocked and happy and touched, yet because I’m balling I think my mind starts to think I’m sad by the sound of it…
I also recently took a quiz that told me I am unintentionally telekinetic –which is funny considering I just always thought electronics sucked; and another that told me 10 out of 10 questions that told me I was an Indigo, which I’ve been told before however this definitely confirmed it.
So self learning always in progress, but what I really enjoy is helping others; and despite all this bs going on with my ex, I still seem to constantly find myself in situations where I really am helping others, like I needed to be there. It’s sort of comical, the girl that looks and seems immature, a product of her time and fighting with her boyfriend, is known to have an “angelic” personality to older people who seem to seek out and get advice from her. In other words I’m still doing my soul purpose while dealing with meaningless 3D drama. I wish I knew the right people so I could write a New Age comedic sitcom.
I woke up the other morning at 4:29 am and somehow knew it was a sign. I looked it up and it said the angels are guiding me on my path to being a lightworker. So instead of beating myself up, I’m going to forgive myself for being human and eventually giving in to having him in my life, and just hope and trust the angels that my highest good will come to me. I wish to keep my ex around but really just as a friend and helper, I wish he felt the same, he says he does but I feel he wants more, especially since he tells me. However I know I’m helping him as well so perhaps this is all part of my job….I just wish the best for all and hope it all works out for all of us, and remember there are no such things as coincidences, everything happens for a reason, pay attention.
p.s. If anyone else has been having any similar experiences regarding what might be 4or5d or what I described, please feel free to share in the comments, I really think people need to start talking about this before they just feed the pharmaceutical companies more money by mistaking it for circulatory problems lol