My soul’s pulse, the aftermath of the vision
Last night was ….wow as I begin to write this I look at the time, which I have barely done all day… 1:11
Last night was amazing in that I had many real visions of him, the real him. It’s been so long since I’ve seen him, its amazing my mind could come up with such a clear picture of what he looks like….Normally I just have a blurry idea, this was like live motion picture.
I’ve been writing to certain people, who I know may actually know what that “vision” was I (and I’m almost definitely sure him) had back in 2008, that I still remember so clearly, thank God.
It’s been ungoogle-able ever since and I just don’t know what it was. A dream? I was awake….and so was he….when he came back from vacation, the way he phrased it when he asked me was… “…Hey, this is going to sound just soooo weird but, when I was away, …did you have any …not dreams….but…..visions of any kind??”
As I shifted the car, I was like “yea actually I did” and he got really excited and said “wow, imagine if we were telepathically speaking?!?!” and I was like “lol, yea imagine” as I shifted out of the spot, I remember that moment like it was yesterday. Things like THAT make me think, we had that vision at the same time, not to mention, the energy was too strong to not, I never had a “vision” or dream of that nature ever in my life before.
At the time I don’t think I thought it was possible, orrr I was just sooo preoccupied with everything else it didn’t sink it –Ironically, considering once it hit me, it’s all I’ve ever thought about ever since.
Anyway as time went on..and him not really responding to me attempting to hint at it –I don’t know if it’s because I downplayed it the first time, or he assumes it wasn’t me in there based on what happened to me afterwards in our “real” life, where I got hyped up on energy drinks, I just don’t know.
Thus I started to wonder if it’s just me, was it what I was going through at the time…if I’m not meant to be with him (which all of me is sure of that I am, yet everyone else is stating obvious facts that, combined with years of now being lonely or him not being around are starting to weigh on me) then what was that vision for?? What was it
Well, I try to conform to human standards of what everyone else thinks and wants, yet the more I do so eventually my soul will leak out, in a glorious release of tears through the numb robotic façade I had created of myself in order to conform to such societal human standards. The tears feel great, as they show the robotic façade did not completely, almost but not completely, kill me. I’m not dead yet, well we never die but that’s a whole other chapter for those who haven’t had the advantage of learning what I have yet.
The tears come in a flood, when I’m alone, sometimes after jogging in the woods. It feels good, to be in truth, to feel alive. There, in that moment, Is my soul’s pulse. Allowing itself to breathe after being constricted and buried down by trying to ignore such angelic signs and bypassing them as something others would probably diagnose.
That’s what they do you know, they diagnose our gifts.
After years of this and almost getting to the point where I try to give up again, since I’m now 28 and I wish I could, I almost wish my soul would allow me to give up on the dream of him and I since let’s face it –let’s look at what everyone else is throwing at me, hard facts –he hasn’t contacted me etc.
However my soul knows different. Through dreams we connect, (https://newagexperience.wordpress.com/2013/07/24/twin-flame-july-2013-dreamconnect/ https://newagexperience.wordpress.com/2013/10/24/prequel-to-dream-post/ )
and that’s where my soul runs free. However, like I said, I’m 28 now, living in a dreamworld isn’t going to make kids. So as I try to forget again, and go against the grain of my heart with the way everyone else is going and putting pressure on me to go….I find some other loopholes.
2014 is a fabulous energy. It’s given me almost 2 possible answers to what happened to me in 08, when I’ve gotten almost nothing since then.
Lindy Cowling and I have been communicating because after seeing one of her video blogs about Twin Flames etc, she mentioned some things I have never heard of nor learned yet, which is what I’m always looking for..
She mentioned her Twin Flame and her have the ability to travel to different places in space and time, former lifetimes together etc I guess anywhere they’ve been together.
Now the only other thing I’ve heard close to this, was that the lady at the Pix 11 NYC Expo, who told me I was an “indigo” was amazed and told me maybe I went to a place in the future and to keep the faith, stay positive.
Thus, I wrote to Lindy, who I saw last night wrote me that I may have entered another place in time, like a “timeslip”…
As I looked up “timeslip” I came across another video blog and listened as this nice lady went on about parallel worlds, realities, etc and how we can slip from one to another…
As something she said really resonated with me, I actually went to look at the screen. (usually I put these things on and do something else while I listen, hoping maybe I’ll learn something but sometimes/usually its stuff you already know at this point).
Finally something different yet so on point, I looked up at the screen.
Tears came to my eyes as to how much she looks like my mom…I took it as a sign, as I heard mediums say at times, that when you think you see them, its them communicating with you, in a sense it is, them.
I wrote to her and am awaiting her answer.
I get that we choose our own realities, I’ve been studying the art of manifestation since 2008, however let’s face it –where’s my Twin.
As I wrote manifestation writings last night before bed, I started to string together and finally learn perhaps why things played out the way they did..That was real what I saw, and so is everything I’m feeling, it was probably a glimpse into the future so I had something to hang on to until that happens, considering it wasn’t the right timing for us –we both had things to learn, as well as things to do..
Every time I went to the mediums etc at these expo’s or that my friends knew, they said the same thing last year –You have more important things to do, before you get together.
Now, as I wrote that last night it clicked. I have all my ducks in a row now. I have about 5 projects I’m working on, one of them being a book –that maybe if I had been distracted by the bliss of true love I wouldn’t’ve been focused enough to do. Plus, he’s a separate person, let alone a male, who I also think had stuff to learn, we both did, so when we do get together we are already on our paths to changing the world and we are also better for each other.
The real me is starting to come out now as well, I used to think the idea of needing another is just purposteriuos , I have myself, psshh who cares. I think being around a lot of other people who think the opposite, and also almost being tricked by people I dated of the opposite etc, makes you almost fall for societies co-dependent tricks.
Obviously I’de love to be with my Twin Flame, but I definitely learned in the past year time frame, that I don’t want to settle for less then that, nor deserve any less than that.
Yes natural Kristina’s back, Thank God, common sense has showered its amazing presence and I feel great. I don’t need to conform to societies beleifs that you need anyone, just to be yelled at for feeling “lonely” ever –what an abusive system.
I’m really the opposite. I’m just fine on my own, but would thoroughly enjoy the prescense etc of my Twin Flame (or something better, as they teach us to say in LOA basics)
People remember to be, who you realllyyyyy areee, not what you’ve been taught, programmed or trained to be. Don’t fall for any of these tricks the media does to society, thus society does to you. Change you by being true to yourself, and one at a time, society will change right along with you. Let’s create a good domino effect for once, a heavenly one…
Happy Playing 😉