Transformation 2013

moon night

Thursday 10/24/13

I’m just coming from my writing club that meets on Thursdays in Mahopac, NY. I can write a sitcom based on just that, and my perceptions of it, however ironically they’re the group that I’ve been sharing the 2%of me that’s serious, deep, and for real.

Ok maybe it’s more then 2%of me, however it’s mostly been hidden by an array of comedic ways of cheering others up. It came out in my writing, it never really had a reason for it to come out in real life –however my writing not only got me into school with scholarships, but through school to the degree.

It never had a reason to come out in real life,

until now.

After my 28th birthday, I gently reclused from the social scene and focused on what’s really important. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still enjoying the sociality of whoever’s in my life still, but with me no longer having to depend on anyone to party-partner with, there’s also not room for those who don’t make their own effort to be in my life etc. Things become more clear, without the clouding of people moving sideways.

Which is fine, it’s sort of a filtering process. When you get to the point where you realize your self worth, you seem to only fit in your life, what you deserve, while peacefully and defaultly leaving the rest. The more aligned you are, the more peaceful it will be. However we are still all human so, there is a bit of withdrawal one might feel when having to leave some friends at level 5 while you’re trying to get to level 6 ot 7 etc when they clearly, (and the more you exceed up the more clear it becomes) are not ready to do so themselves.

Becoming real with one’s self is actually quite liberating. Don’t get me wrong though, it’s a process. However if you’re at the right level to start this process, you’ll be spiritually aware enough to know that this is a process and actually appreciate the process of it, despite the pain naturally and humanely felt.

You’ll be able to separate from that, and look at it from a different perspective. Yes you are feeling some pains, but they are growing pains. You’ll feel better at the next level and/because your spirit is ready to be at the next level. Trust me we’re all energy, thus we are all continuously moving –hopefully in the right direction. However in the New Age, you can feel it more then ever. The New Age directly routes you, which is your feelings, to your metaphysical you, which is your spirit –in other words, the connectivity of all is felt more then ever now. People are waking up, becoming more aware. This is the age where things happen, due to the magic in the air, direct connectivity of the Law of Attraction, and people realizing they can make things happen.

Tonight was one of the many emerging examples I’ve experienced. Each example, special and unique from the rest, yet each one progressively becoming more direct and clear/obvious of the movement that is going on with each individual and the world.

There was a new lady in my writer’s group tonight, that I made myself go to despite other extenuating circumstances….As I walked in late, she was speaking and I could tell she wanted to share cathartically why she was there. Everyone else was kind of on their own path however, yet I felt the need to serve her food, share with her what one other is sharing about his experience (since his is personal, maybe she’d feel more comfortable sharing), and really helping to allow her to feel welcome –is what I wanted to do, the urge was there. However swept with the movement of the group along with my own shyness, I went along with the flow of the group for now.

I was there to listen. Previously when I was there, I had read, on two separate occasions, very real, deep, and heart felt beautiful pieces of poetry that I banged out in the midst of the process described earlier in this blog, and one earlier this year. They were  intense and yet people loved them. They are from the depths of my soul so, takes some real passion to write them, and some would find it nearly impossible I would keep such feelings inside of me, knowing how…unconditionally loving, deep, and passionate they are, but like I said, I keep certain things private.

I broke the intense moving saga, the third week I was there with a light and comical How-To piece on the Do’s and Don’ts of How To Stay Cool with a Black Eye, based on an experience I had while living in Mount Vernon, NY.

These people needed to know, that I can make light of almost anything, so they didn’t fear I was about to jump off a bridge every time I left a meeting. After all some lady after striking up a conversation with me suggested I read a book, she later told me was titled “Dark Places”.

A man came up to me after one of my poems, and raved to me about it. He was so happy, yet I was seemingly drained. I asked “O yea, are you in love?” as he was smiling he said he thinks so, and he loves it.

I’m nodding, as I said “That’s great” yet wanted to say,

“Yea, I can’t wait for it to be over”

Being in love can be exausting when you’re unsure of the other side.

Some freak, when they are unsure what the other feels, which trust me I understand the feeling. Yet now, with my knowledge of the Law of Attraction, as well as the new-found knowledge earlier in the year of a Twin Flame and what they are, ahem aka my life, annd the fact that I am now 28 and well, self-assured –no matter where life takes me I know I’m here for a reason so; that can be looked at as faith in the divine, surrendering to angels, and of course doing your part here, knowing you have a job, you’re put here for a reason, and knowing you’ll find fulfillment in doing it.

Will it ever match up to what could happen when united with your Twin Flame? Of course not, however I have a job to do, and I’m here to do it. Besides, trust in Divine timing, they (the angels etc) know what’s up, and they’re with you.

Some are, in part, working with them, after all we are all in this together.

The new lady read her piece and I got her essence of what she was trying to say. Some misunderstood the way she said the first part, so I told them I understood how they heard it but attempted to clarify it for her, and asked her to correct me since I’m merely guessing.

Her poem brought tears to my eyes, for I knew. I knew what she was saying, and as I clarified a part that many misconstrued, she slowly and silently nodded, yet very to herself. Someone else got a literal message that she verbally commented on so I figured, maybe I didn’t get it as much as that guy. Perhaps her message was a bit different then what I read…

Well after class I went up to her, welcomed her, and she told me I actually got the message more then anyone else in the class did. Wow, interesting. I also asked her if she ever heard of a twin flame, and she didn’t yet her eyes lit up as I mentioned it. I explained more to her, and the theory and some background, and mentioned that it sounded to me like she was describing a twin flame.

I started out by saying you can have 12-15 soul mates in your life, but as for your Twin Flame: there is only one. You’ve never felt this way towards anyone else before, not even close. Not even on the same planet of feelings I guess. The more I spoke the more she lit up. I eventually told her the theory behind it, is that, you guys are your ying to your yang, and there are many synchronicities, but because you are your ying to your yang, there are opposites as well. The theory is that you both were one soul, and in this life, are split into two, two people, but you both –at the risk of sounding co-dependent -complete each other.

This is why self-work is very important, and you should both come together as the most complete people ever before combining because ultimately you are trying to strengthen the whole of the sum. Anyway this all completely resonated and moved her, and she just knew we met for a reason. I explained a bit of my recent journey and finally came out  after a lot of questioning and said (since for once I felt safe saying this) a huge reason for my transformation is that my –as I humorously say this- twin flame, moved to Florida.

( Now let me remind everyone that my twin flame will always remain anonymous since I respect the privacy of others and myself. I am also very privately protective of him etc but just because for once this blog mentions a couple locations that I will ever really get deeper in terms of details like that, a lot of people move to Fl lol, and this is the most “real” detail I’ve ever really said about him or probably will ever say. I don’t “expose” anybody.)

She asked which part and I mentioned Jacksonville, where I used to live.

Hers did too! But to Naples, but where she went to high school!

She asked if mine knew I used to live there, and I said noo because in the very beginning he didn’t, and that’s not why he moved there.

I did mention that he thought I was lying when I said I moved up from there… and I didn’t know why, then I guess he told me he or his fam had/ has a summer place there.

Or maybe she asked if I knew, idk either way we met up here so I didn’t think it mattered but her point was that hers didn’t know she went to highschool in naples yet moved there.

I mean it’s definitely interesting.

We should’ve definitely joined the “My Twin Flame Moved to Fl” Club I guess a few months ago.

Anyway let me get to sleep, where hopefully I’ll enter the heavenly world where we hang out, and most of all –(hopefully)remember it. For those memories, are the best one’s I have so far.


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