“Dating” or whatever you call it

I know that the new age will have some sort of positive but definitely an effect on every aspect of life. However, this is the area I have yet to figure out or really notice, how it’s effected yet.

And yet, this is the area I feel needs the most healing from the new age.

I am an attractive, fun, witty, soul-ful, and yet down to Earth interesting girl WHO people cannot beleive (how sweet) is still single. Well I’ll tell you why I’m still single.

I’ve been really single, since August of 2012, even though I strived to be single much sooner. I decided once and for all, to actually pay attention to red flags and vow to never date another pyscho again -“aint nobody got timme for that”

Well, as much as I stuck to that, and have friends interested in me but I’m not interested in them in that manner, my character has not changed.

I am still free spirited, and so much fun. I’ve had the hottest guys I’ve known in highschool, approach me last weekend and this weekend. However they either want to come home with me, or want me to come home with them.

That’s where there’s always a stall. I’m not a h#e-bag and because of this, I guess I lose out.

Yes I’m sexual, I’m very sexual when I’m with somebody, but until then I personally don’t take it much farther beyond kissing. Especially when I just rann into you one night. I feel if they are interested they’ll somehow contact me either via facebook or texting.

Yet am I wrong? I know I seem soo old-fashioned compared to all my other girlfriends who go home with people the first night, and I’m not judging, I’m just saying I don’t.

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I used to free-flow and go home with people and have fun withouttt anything physical going on, perhaps thats what I should’ve done last night, but I guess I’m at that age (a-hem, 27) where I feel people might consider it naive to think going home with someone does not entail the mammal dance.

I don’t want to be put down for being…self-respecting. I had to protect myself growing up, my parents passed away and I had to look after myself because no one else was around to do so.

However, at the end of the day(/night whatever) guess who’s still single.

It’s hard in this age, for someone as self-respecting as me, to have someone find me and be interested while theres all these other chicks throwing themselves at them.

-Still not judging. just saying.

Because I have morals, and don’t share myself with everyonneeee -somehow I lose out.

Now is that right? Am I doing something wrong? If i’m not doing anything wrong, then how come everyone else that gives into their immediate urges, seems to be less lonley in the end, while I, doing the “right” thing am the one left alone?

It’s hard, perhaps I should force myself to give in a little? I just feel that gives the wrong impression and I’m not easy like that.

I’m so good at remaining positive, but I tell you -those Saturday mornings when you wake up….or those Friday nights -both leave you wondering should I have?

What iss the point of being good anymore, when there are no good people to recognize it? TImes like this I wonder if we’re living in hell, but I know better -I know your world is a choice, live it the way you want to.

But in a world where you do the right thing, then suffer loneliness from it you tend to wonder if evil triumphs over good and angelic. I hope to God not. I love and respect myself enough to know I’m doing the right thing, I’m just wondering if I should change the way I do it? I mean I have no idea, something just seems so off-balance here.

You do good, and get bad. =Off balance, where’s the pay-off? I’m still lonely because I’m not a slut! WTF, is anyone seeing the off-balance here besides me? Is ANYONE OUT THERE

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