Last night was my final attempt to catch up on sleep before this work week. after a busy crazy great weekend.
You know, one of those weekends where you eventually find your credit card when it falls out of your freezer, yess one of those weekends…
As reserved as I am with my body, meaning I feel like one of the only non-slut’s left in their 20’s, not judging -everyone has different ways of life, I sure do have a lot of fun, for some who -well some would say, doesn’t have a lot of fun in that field lol.
Trust me, I’de lovee to indulge in sexual activity, but with the right person, and on the right terms -so until then I am self-fulfilled, and have tons of fun with myself and my friends etc.
Anyway, I slept from about 12-8 this morning, and managed to go back to sleep with the help of my sleep angel, to catch up until about 11 -yet it seemed like I only went back to sleep for a couple minutes.
It’s ironic that I haven’t had many astral-projection experiences that intense since March, yet I post the March Entry last Friday, and it happened this morning.
Same type of thing, I felt a “woosh” type of vibrations, something pulling me, a force-like energy pulling me up. I feel the physical sensation of my body tingling, almost like you feel when your cold, I felt cold but it was ok. The tingling was also how you feel when you lose circulation, but this was also ok.
I felt I couldn’t get back in my body to breathe, and it kept wanting me to go with it.
Like I used to be with the ocean, as a child, I would start to go in, as deep as I can as long as I know I still have the control to get out. That’s still the process happening here, I let myself relax and go with it, until I get a bit scared of whatever’s on the other side and I’ll go back and try to get back in my body.
No one wants to venture out, into the wilderness or whatever without a map -because they want some sense of how to get back, some sense of control -well same here.
What I’m starting to realize/become more aware of, is that these experiences are not happening for no reason. This time, I somehow had some sort of consciousness to know, that this is the place I can ask questions.
This place it sort of takes you too, it’s all white and it’s some sort of space. Feels like space for your mind, to relax and breathe, and not think -yet somehow I knew -hey, this is where you get the answers you are seeking.
-there was also a weird dream that happened and I think it was prior to this, but I was in the house I grew up in and kept being in my mom’s room. Now as you know if you’ve read my “about the author” section, my mom passed when I was 11.
I kept looking around the room, feeling almost at home again -after all, it was the last place I had my immediate family. Except when I kept looking at one wall, which was now newly painted white it seemed, I would get very sad- like I would feelings of missing her. And I kept going toward that wall, and touching it, and it was one of those dreams where you almost wake up crying.
Maybe it’s these types of dreams, that are spurring the astral-traveling, maybe she feels bad and somehow allows for me to access the mind-space to get answers, -idk i’m just thinking out loud.
Back to the traveling, I have to shed a smidgit of background in order for you to understand what I asked. I will get into this more in another entry, it deserves it’s own entry for sure, but heres just a slight taste of what else is going on.
5years ago, possibley to the day, who knows (well, he does, he was very good with dates) I met someone who I now realize, is my twin flame. Being aware of what the terms twin-flame means etc, really cleared up a lot for me this year, but until this year, I just knew he was the one.
However not everything is in perfect timing, so it may have not been our time, but when I met him, he was sooooo familiar to me, and what I experienced, was far beyond what any of our 5 senses can begin to describe. Like an orgasm of the soul but slower and calmer. In fact this feeling is still present whenever I see him in my dreams, or shall I say -we see eachother, is a huge possibility of what’s going on, which you’ll see later in the entry.
Anyway, I’ve thought about him every day since, and pretty muchhh keep it to myself. SO, even though at time’s I try to move on, and make moves to do so, my soul cannot lie, and it comes out in other ways, like dreams etc. As much as I try to forget, I had to opportunity to ask a question and what automatically, in no time, no time at all -no literally this place has no sense of time, I asked -somehow without words, so i’ll try my best to translate, although it came out a lot simpler, more or less “What’s the deal with me and ______, will we ever…” get together, is the energy of what I put out, in my genuine question.
They said, give it a month.
Now it should be interesting, because if it does happen within a month, that means I have somehow mastered an amazing skill, that I’de like to share with everyone so everyone else can also have these experiences; but yes I’m genuinely curiuos at this point, if this will happen or not. Of course for my Earthly reasons, but also, this is bigger then my Earth situation, if this does start to transpire or something in a month, that would mean, that there is something to this.
That there is something to these experiences. I definitely thought so the first time, but after a while you tend to wonder, well -maybe theres a medical reason for it, or maybe it’s sleep paralysis of some sort, maybe I just sleep WRONG lol -people will eventually come up with many Earthly reasons for abnormal experiences, as a way to attempt to rationalize what has happened to them, and fit it into the world they reside in; because after all, this is the world they reside in, and things go more smoothly for many typically when things make sense to them. Understandable.
What the New Age is also about, is learning how to…be a bit more open minded, and relaxed at it.
Many get very nervous when trying to go beyond their comfort zone, and I guess the question is, how big is your comfort zone? The bigger the better, the more open minded you are, the bigger your comfort zone will become and pretty soon you won’t feel threatened by much, I guess that’s how Ghandi did it.
By the way, I do get a bit …nervous, when this astro-stuff is occurring, so trust me I’m human too, I even remember saying the sign of the cross as it was happening in case I did go with it, in order to be protected.
I’m going to end this entry on a very real, but comedic note.. I can’t believe I’m about to write this “out loud” lol but, I guess that’s what becoming a great writer is all about -pushing your own comfort zone etc but, I did finally surrender today to the Astral-Traveling force, and I did it by saying, in my mind “ok take me, but then someone up there better have sex with me” lol and I think it’s because, the feeling that happens to you when your getting pulled by this force, feels very very very very very very similar to when your about to orgasm, so -I woke up today just thinking I’m horney but no it was just that.
What’s interesting is that once I thought that, it stopped -or so I thought, I mean who knows; but from what I know it stopped, and I don’t know if it’s because I protected myself, or maybe my feelings weren’t “pure” enough to enter whatever zone, I mean I just don’t know, but you can trust me on this -whatever I do know, I’ll tell you, lol as you can see.